Middle School Geometry Teacher Still Using Lunch Hour To Proclaim Pizza A Teaching Tool

pizza geometry

Using the full 27 minutes of their allotted lunch break, Daryll McHenry, 33, lectured his colleagues and fellow educators yet again of the ingenious method he uses to engage disinterested youth in remedial mathematics.

Holding up a slice of pizza and tracing its perimeter with sharp, angular juts of his index finger, Daryll went on to explain: “these kids—they don’t give a damn about geometry, but if you disguise that same geometry with say,  a little pepperoni, and green olives, then heyo! Suddenly we’re cooking with gas. And learning. We’re learning.”

“I just nod when he talks, dude, and pretend like I left something in the microwave,” said Pete Matthews, a Phys Ed teacher who reports he doesn’t particularly appreciate having to beg a bunch of lethargic 12-year-olds to wash their greasy mitts before engaging in just five goddamn minutes of badminton.

“Steve’s our Science teacher”, Pete continued, “but you don’t see him handing out matches to drive home lessons on chemical reactions. And kids fucking love setting shit on fire.”

Ali O’Reilly is a Minneapolis-based writer and performer. Her humor, essays, and poetry have appeared in McSweeneys, Thought Catalog, Hello Giggles, The Twin Cities Arts Reader, Nice Cage Magazine and more.

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