Kim Jong-un Reveals What Else is on His Desk

From The Desk Of Kim Jung Un

On Monday, Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un revealed that his desk is equipped with a large red button that’s just itching to be pushed. In response, on Tuesday President Donald J. Trump tweeted his button was, in fact, “much bigger & more powerful.”

Insulted by this clap back, a determined Kim Jong-un one-uped the leader of the free world by revealing the other impressive items on his supreme desk. North Korean television was boasting over the quality of items found on Kim Jong Un’s desk, and the Great General’s desk’s superiority over Donald Trump’s red button.

“Kim Jong-un showed the world his most prized possession, and the people of North Korea felt endless overwhelming emotions!”  The Korean news anchor enthusiastically exclaimed as Kim smiled while holding his signed Dennis Rodman bobblehead. “How generous of our Great General Kim Jong-un to share his great treasure with us.” He then placed his social trophy next to the Newton’s Cradle click-clacking on the far corner of his desk.

Showcasing the latest technology, Kim used his authentic rotary phone and received top-secret military updates through his fax machine. He then delicately placed the documents onto his collection of maps neatly piled in the center of his desk. “It is here where our beloved Kim Jong-un will plan his latest glorious victory!” The announcer cheered as Kim sat in his chair.

Not to be outdone by Donald Trump’s lavish and artery-clogging lifestyle, Kim pointed to the wet bar displayed on the left side of his office. The bar was equipped with his favorite German beers, Bordeaux wine, Russian vodka, and more. Kim chuckled as his general handed him a full glass of Hennesy. After taking a sip Kim nodded towards the opposite side of the room where an exceptional cheese spread lied within reaching distance. Delicacies like Emmental cheese were carefully laid out onto a massive cheese board.

Swirling the Hennesy in his glass, Kim leaned closer and stared into the camera. He mouthed the words, “Your move” then confidently sat back to take another sip from his glass.


About Jo Anna Van Thuyne 31 Articles
Jo Anna Van Thuyne is an actor, comedian, and producer residing in New York. Her podcast, Apocalypse...Now?, starts September 5th. Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Check her Snapchat/Twitter/Insta @JoPincushion. Learn more at joannavanthuyne [dot] com

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