If Other Jobs Were Like The Arts

embarrassed-person

“You’re an accountant? Cool, for what firm?”
“Oh no one pays me but I split a group check one time.”

—–

“You’re a firefighter? OK, I have the best idea for putting out fires, write this down, this is perfect for you!”

—–

“We’re starting a cool new hospital and you’d be the perfect doctor.”
“Great! How much does it pay?”
“Well, nothing, but sooo many people would see your work.”

—–

“Wow, you healed another injured dog? You have too much time on your hands!”

—–

“Did you get that secretary job?”
“You know how it is, they reached out, basically stalked me, told me over and over that I was so talented and they were dying to work with me, and then I never heard from them again.”

—–

“I told the PTA you’d organize the next bake sale. Everyone else works but since you’re just a lawyer you must have tons of free time.”

—–

“As a structural engineer, I work hard making sure that buildings are safe and properly constructed.”
“My nephew plays with legos, exact same thing! You should talk.”

—–

“It must be so fun being a plumber, I’d unclog drains all day if I could – I just wish I had the time!”

—–

“You’re a history teacher? You must be depressed, huh? Every history teacher had a bad childhood.”

—–

“Sometimes I don’t know if I can even call myself a banker. I mean, I went to school for it and work really hard at it every single day but if no one knows who I am yet does it even count?”

Maura Quint is a writer whose work can be found in publications such as McSweeneys, Runt of the Web, Someecards and on twitter at @behindyourback. She would be happy to name your band but you have to let her sing back up sometimes. Her mic doesn’t need to be on.

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