Amazing Lance, The SEO Magician, Surprises A Make-A-Wish Child

Hello Patrick! Allow me to introduce myself. I am THE Amazing Lance.

I’m here today at St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital to make your time in our care a little easier. For you see, Patrick, I’m a magician! You circled magician as your fourth option on the Make-A-Wish wish list. For that, I’m forever grateful, and if you enjoy my performance a few kind words on Yelp! go a long way.

Now, as my stage name alludes to, I dabble in the art of illusions but as you can tell from my sensible business wear I’m obviously a magician of a different breed. I create illusions in a space where other fall short. Let the Penn and Tellers and David Blaines of the world work their trade in witchcraft and sorcery while I…THE Amazing Lance…work magic in the online world.

Before the performance, a brief overview of my origin story — at the impressionable age of four years old, I saw a magician on my favorite afternoon television program. He was fantastic. He had a profound effect on who I would become as an individual and entertainer. I can’t recall his name. After his act, I rushed into my father’s study and begged him for a magic kit. After a significant tantrum, he relented, and drove me down to the local pharmacy to ask about medication for hyperactivity in children. After the pharmacist explained medication couldn’t be prescribed by anyone but a licensed physician, and after calculating the cost of a doctor’s visit, dad bought me my first magic kit.

After hours of practice, I brought the kit into school for show and tell. I bombed but the experience wasn’t a deterrent, hardly! I practiced every day and made a promise to myself that I’d one day find employment as a magician and here I am today! To tell the truth, I still haven’t gotten my big break in the world of magic BUT I’ve discovered my talent lies in the realm of a much more profitable type of magic — the magic of search engine optimization.

For my first trick, I’ll introduce you, young Patrick, to the ancient secrets of sound SEO practices. Keep your eye directly on this magic wand in my hand for it does amazing things. Watch as the magic wand types out a long form keyword into a Google. Why don’t you go ahead and suggest a search. “Best magician in San Francisco”, perfect, I’ll go ahead and punch it in and wait for the results…

…do you know the wireless password here…NEVERMIND! PRESTO! My website, official online home of Amazing Lance, appears first in the search results. Now am I the best magician in San Francisco? Well these search results and a little company called Google seem to think highly enough of my work to rank me first in search results. Perhaps it’s because content is king but quality back links are its queen! We’ll cover that in the second part of the performance.

Now I realize, Patrick, that you’re more interested in meeting your idols. Men like WWE Champion John Cena. But let me ask this — what re the qualities you admire most in Mr. Cena? Is it his brute strength? I’ll bet it is, but, is he as tenacious as the world’s most influential search engine, Google? Hardly! Why watch what happens when I search John Cena’s name and drop my phone into this perfectly normal derby off the top of my head.

Hello? Yes, yes hello Mr. Cena. Indeed, I’m unable to see you, this is a telephone. Oh that’s a popular catchphrase? I’m unfamiliar with the wrestling lexicon. Carry on. Yes, I’m here with Patrick, and he’s a staunch admirer of your work. Sure, I’d be honored to pass along a message. Begin transmission. You want him to type “John Cena’s favorite magician” into the Bing search engine? But why…alright, alright as you wish. I have a laptop right here hang on.

I’ve done as you’ve requested, typed John Cena’s favorite magician into the search bar and…oh…oh Mr. Cena, I’m flattered. Let me turn the computer monitor for Patrick to see the results. Yes, I can tell from the slight movement of his cheek that he realizes the first search result points to my official website. His young face tell the entire story though I’m smiling just as wide, I’ll tell you that! Great, well, you have a wonderful afternoon as well. Chow chow.

For my final trick before your afternoon sedation, I’m going to perform a feat so fantastical you’ll swear it’s the work of a higher power. I’m going to go over the finer points of creating fresh content to improve your rankings. In the eyes of the search engines, content freshness adds relevancy to your site. Adding new, useful content to your pages on a regular basis will beef up your visitors count immediately. Collecting donations for your next round of chemo will be…like magic!

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